Fri. Jan 21st, 2022

As Mike Tyson said, “Everyone has plans until they get hit.”

Several issues from the MLB-MLBPA negotiations have already been agreed upon. That is, they’ve been dismissed under the polite designation NSGAD — neither side gives a damn.

You suppose either side, heading in, bothered with, “We’d better throw something in this for fans, something to curry favor with those who ultimately count the most?”

From the movie, “Fat Chance.”

If only I could weasel my way in, to be the public advocate in these discussions. What fun we’d have. Some proposals:

1. Fans discovered in Dumpsters or restrooms trying to avoid payment to the second game of two-admission doubleheaders will be sentenced to wear one of Peter Rosenberg’s gravy-stained pro wrestling T-shirts.

2. The total elimination of 1 p.m. Saturday games as they mostly attract families with kids.

3. Full rain checks for delays that exceed eight hours, the next day’s dawn or the kickoff of the Army-Navy game.

4. The profit on all drinks and food sold to patrons is not to exceed 250 percent per pour or item. Artificial cheese squirts applied as nacho toppings will carry expiration dates — not for the goo, but for those who eat it.

5. Half-priced parking during all away games.

MLB’s latest labor talks will again not do anything to help the fans, The Post’s Phil Mushnick writes.
Robert Sabo, Stephen Yang, AP

In other words, neither side has to conspire or aspire to abuse fans, as that’s a given. Fans don’t make the cut in such matters and never have. Assume your continuing role of taken-for-granted sucker until the two-parties’ gold dust settles.

As during past labor negotiations and actions in all sports, not one issue creates a rooting interest for any fan or customer. The battles waged are over how to maximize the money supplied by unrepresented fans, especially in the form of TV, ticket and merchandise revenues.

And now both parties must fight for their cuts of fans’ guaranteed losses and licensing fees as per Rob “Seven Innings” Manfred-certified, bad-odds gambling.

I don’t care how and when this MLB crisis ends, all I know is that the most significant party — The Game’s fans — will not be consulted or considered. You will be ignored. Again.

So let us know when it’s over and we’ll assess the latest damage before we can resume, if we remain willing, to watch 30-strikeout games, 14-pitcher games, four-hour games, jogging to first and hitting into shifts with a man on, none out, late in close games.

That’s my plan while awaiting MLB’s next punch in the face.

Sanders’ past casts shadow on Jackson St.

Recall Bishop Sycamore, the high school football team that this season played on ESPN despite its non-existence as a legit school? It made national news and, for ESPN, well-earned embarrassment — despite being downplayed on ESPN.

But unknown to most is that Bishop Sycamore was preceded by a phony, sports-first high school headed by Deion Sanders, the NFL superstar and now coach of Jackson State, whose recruits have turned the Mississippi university into an overnight football powerhouse.

Deion Sanders

In 2012, Sanders became co-founder of what was declared a Texas charter high school, Prime Prep, that placed its emphasis on sports. But by 2016, the “school” was in a heap of legal and financial trouble, then forced to close, as it lacked even minimal academic accreditation despite Sanders’ alleged vows that Prime Prep was totally legit.

Bottom line: Sanders left a lot of kids, seeking athletic scholarships to colleges, and a few remaining employees in the lurch.

Yet Jackson State didn’t see Sanders’ scandalous recent past as a deterrent from hiring him as its head coach.

Now, as Sanders somehow has been able to land top recruits to Jackson State, raising questions as to whether Sanders and the school, as others allegedly have done, have dangled NIL money to influence or bribe recruits.

College coach Sanders, ostensibly a graduate of Florida State, has vehemently denied that with, “We ain’t got no money!”

Inflation is through the roof, gas prices are up $1.25 from a year ago, the cost of food is bringing back Spam — if folks can be found to drive the trucks — and the NFL and Amazon think people are going to fall all over themselves to purchase an additional-pay NFL Thursday night TV package.

And, according to Post colleague Andrew Marchand, they’re going to dangle as a purchasing enticement a studio-show possibly starring often indecipherable, crotch-grabbing, public speaker of unfiltered vulgarities, Marshawn Lynch.

Yep, that should do it! The worst they can do is the best they can do.

Don’t be so friendly, Francisco

Reader Richard Kelly has an idea for new Mets manager Buck Showalter: Have Francisco Lindor, “the zillionaire .230 hitting shortstop, stop yukking it up at second base with opponents who just hit a bases-clearing double.”

Not unexpectedly, NBC’s “Today” show has returned to serve as a full-blown come-on promo for NBC’s Winter Olympics coverage. Based on the content the happy talk on “Today,” these Olympics will be held in the Democratic Republic of China.

So Roger Goodell told the Manning brothers on their Monday night show that it would be beneath him to speak any vulgar details of Snoop Dogg’s act, but come Super Bowl Sunday, Dogg, on Goodell’s invite, will be plenty good enough for the rest of the country. Goodell knows the halftime show likely will be X-rated — again — he just doesn’t care. What leadership!

Francisco Lindor
Getty Images

The media have so overly used and misused “iconic,” it will soon mean ordinary, common. The Mets have announced that on July 9, Keith Hernandez’s “iconic No. 17” will be retired. Now numbers are iconic? Reader Len Geller notes the ceremony will be on a Saturday, “that iconic day of the week.”

David Cone, as a “Sunday Night Baseball” voice, could at last be a good get for ESPN, as Cone will be free from his contradictions — analytics are silly/analytics are good — in his YES treatments of the Brian Cashman and Aaron Boone confederacy.

It doesn’t matter that the Cowboys scored a league-high five TDs off interceptions this season, those points have been applied to Dallas’ offensive scoring totals. Football is given baseball’s stats status, as if all plays begin on a pitcher’s mound, 60 feet, 6 inches away.

Kyrie Irving and Charles Barkley
Kyrie Irving and Charles Barkley
Getty Images; TNT

For once I’m with Charles Barkley. Kyrie Irving is impossible to root for. And Barkley should know.

Can’t even watch the U.S. Olympic figure skating trials on NBC without get-rich-quick sports gambling ads.

Nightmare Saturday night. I dreamed I was so rich I wrote big checks to Antonio Brown. I woke up in a sweat, but thoroughly relieved to not have that kind of dough.

Lots of fond recollection to my farewell here Friday to actor Dwayne Hickman, who played Dobie Gillis, CBS 1959-63, and died last Sunday at 87.

Among my favorite lines from that show — which I enjoyed as a teen in reruns — was spoken by Warren Beatty in the role of rich, conceited high school kid Milton Armitage — Dobie’s rival for the heart of Thalia Menninger, played by Tuesday Weld (the show was loaded with great character names and characters).

When Milton was asked if he was running for school office on behalf of the junior class, he replied, “No, on behalf of the ruling class.”

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